Many of the grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and other kids you care for have been through hard things, such as neglect, abuse, loss, or exposure to alcohol or drugs before birth.
These early experiences can shape how a child’s brain and body respond to the world around them. Some children are extra sensitive to sights, sounds, touches, or smells. Others crave more stimulation, and they may bounce, fidget, or touch everything around them.
When a child’s senses feel “too much” or “not enough,” it can lead to big emotions or meltdowns. But don’t worry—you can help. With time, patience, and a few simple strategies, you can make life calmer and more comfortable for both of you.
5 Ways to Help a Child with Sensory Challenges
1. Shape the Environment to Fit This Child’s Needs
Start by watching your grandchild or relative child closely. Notice what seems to bother them and what helps them calm down. Think about each of their senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell) and how you might make small changes at home.
Sight:
Is your home bright and busy? Sometimes, too much color, clutter, or home decor can overwhelm a child. Try softer lighting, simple colors, and fewer decorations in the shared living spaces and their bedrooms. A peaceful space helps them rest and feel safe.
Sound:
If your grandchild startles or covers their ears at loud sounds, try using soft music, a fan, or white noise to calm them. Before heading to noisy places like a gym or family gatherings, talk with them about what to expect. Noise-canceling headphones can be a big help, too.
Touch:
Some kids can’t stand clothing tags or certain fabrics. Others might not want to be hugged, or they may want lots of physical touch. If your child seeks pressure or movement, you could try a weighted blanket, a tight hug, or letting them carry a heavy backpack. If they’re sensitive to touch, go slow and ask before touching them.
Taste and Smell:
It’s not uncommon for young kids to be picky eaters. However, kids with a history of trauma, prenatal substance exposure, or other challenges feel that pickiness differently – maybe more intensely or for a longer season. Sensory issues around food and eating can look like refusing to eat, gagging at strong smells, or only eating one type of food. Try offering new foods one at a time and don’t force them. You can also keep strong smells (like cleaning products or candles) to a minimum. Gentle scents like lavender or vanilla can be calming.
2. Remember: Babies and Toddlers Have Sensory Needs Too
Even your very young grandchildren can struggle with sensory challenges, especially if they were exposed to alcohol and drugs before birth. They might be hard to soothe, have trouble sleeping, or have difficulty feeding.
Here are a few ways to help:
- Try gentle, firm baby massage when they’re fussy.
- Use “kangaroo care” (skin-to-skin holding) for comfort and connection.
- Warm up baby wipes before diaper changes.
- Offer a soft blanket or stuffed animal for comfort.
- Use white noise, soft lullabies, or a fan to help them relax.
- Keep scents soft and simple.
If feeding is a challenge, try a different bottle nipple or a textured spoon. A pediatric occupational therapist can give you more ideas. You can ask your doctor for a referral.
3. Plan Ahead for Overstimulation
Children with sensory challenges often struggle with changes in routine. Big events, like holidays, school programs, or family gatherings, can throw them off balance.
You can help by planning:
- Make sure they get rest and drink plenty of water.
- Bring healthy snacks, especially crunchy or protein-rich ones.
- Pack a few calming items, like a toy, fidget, or blanket.
- Allow quiet breaks away from crowds when needed.
- Teach calming tricks like deep breathing or counting to ten.
For your older relative kids, a bit of screen time or headphones can help them take a mental break.
It can also help to make a “go bag” together. Fill it with snacks, small toys, and comforting items for outings, appointments, or travel.
4. Teach This Child About Their Senses
As this grandchild grows, talk openly about what’s going on in their body. Let them know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, and that you’re there to help them figure it out.
You might say, “It sounds like that noise is too loud for you,” or “Let’s find something that feels better on your skin.” Giving them the words to explain what they feel helps them speak up before things get too big.
You can also create a secret signal or code word they can use to let you know they need a break.
Many families find it helpful to create a “sensory diet.” This is not about food! Instead, it’s a plan for daily activities that help your child stay calm and focused. It could include things like swinging, stretching, walking outside, or wrapping up in a cozy blanket. An occupational therapist can help you build one that fits your child’s needs.
5. Partner with the School
It’s also important to work with this child’s teachers and school staff. Let them know about your child’s sensory needs and what helps at home.
Ask questions like:
- “Is there a quiet space this child can go when they feel overwhelmed?”
- “Can they use sensory tools, like a fidget or weighted lap pad?”
- “Can they take short breaks to move or calm down?”
Many schools have occupational therapists who can suggest helpful strategies and accommodations. When everyone works together, it makes a big difference.
Try and Try Again – Together!
Not every child who’s been through tough times will have sensory challenges, but many do. What matters most is your love, patience, and willingness to keep learning.
Sometimes a strategy will work for a while and then stop working. That’s okay—it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Children grow and change, and what they need changes too.
The most important thing you can tell your grandchild or relative child is: “I’m here. I’m not giving up on you.” That steady love will help this child feel safe in their own skin, which is the first crucial step toward healing.