As children grow into tweens, teens, and young adults, money lessons become more important. Young people want freedom, but they still need practice, clear limits, and support. This is part two of a series on teaching money skills to our relative children.
Work Means More Than a Paycheck
A strong work ethic includes showing up, following through, asking questions, treating people with respect, and admitting mistakes.
Older children should help at home. Household tasks teach that everyone has something to offer. Working together for the good of the community, a core cultural value, reminds our young people that meaningful work is not always paid. Helping family, supporting neighbors, and learning cultural skills also have significant value.
Extra paid jobs might include washing a car or helping with yard work. Agree on the job, payment, and expected result before work begins. You can start now, even if you’ve not previously required work from this young person.
1. Start with their strengths or interests.
Young people often work harder when a task connects with something they enjoy. Their interests can teach them to care for supplies, meet deadlines, and finish a job well.
The lesson is not only “How can this make money?” It is also, “How can this teach patience, service, and pride for this young person?”
2. Then add one responsibility at a time.
Avoid assigning several new money-related duties at once, especially if they have not yet learned how to carry out responsibilities in a family setting.
For example, your tween grandchild may be able to manage snack money or a savings goal, but trying to manage both goals is likely too much to start. As another example, your teen might manage part of their clothing budget or one small monthly bill. And a young adult can graduate to paying their own phone bill, buying occasional groceries, or contributing to the household.
Instead, start with a weekly plan. Add responsibility when the current step is going well.
3. Keep their spending plan simple.
A budget is a plan for how they will use their money. Consider starting with these four categories:
- Commitments: Bills, transportation, or household contributions.
- Spending: Optional purchases and entertainment.
- Saving: Money for a future goal or emergency.
- Helping: Money for family, gifts, or community needs.
Teach them to count what is coming in, set the funds for commitments first, decide what may be spent, save when possible, and review the plan before the next payday.
4. Make money easier to track.
Debit cards, paying online, and other digital devices can make your young person’s spending hard to visualize. Using a cash envelope budget system may help at first. Have your grandchild label them for food, transportation, spending, and savings.
Help your young adult open a bank account and teach them how to check the available balance, pending charges, subscriptions, fees, and upcoming payments from a job or the next deposit dates for allowances.
Remember to teach the full cost of a purchase.
Your tween, teen, or young adult grandchild needs to know that phones, cars, and apartments have ongoing costs that must be maintained.
Before a large purchase, ask, “What will this continue to cost after we buy it?”
5. Practice paying bills and calculating paychecks.
Use one of your household bills to show this child the amount due, due date, and payment options. Encourage them to use calendars, reminders, checklists, and automatic payments to help them stay current. These are useful tools, not signs of failure!
When they get a job, review their first paycheck together. Point out hours worked, pay rate, taxes, deductions, and take-home pay. Agree on savings or household contributions in advance. Don’t forget to praise the skills behind the paycheck: arriving on time, asking for help, and showing up even when work is hard.
6. Allow small mistakes.
It can be hard to watch our kids regret a purchase or spend money too quickly. But small mistakes can teach important lessons. When the mistake is manageable, avoid replacing the money right away, and say:
“You spent what was available. Let’s look at what happened and make a different plan next time.”
Please avoid shaming or comparing them to a parent or relative. One mistake does not define them. Your home should be a safe space to learn.
7. Use guardrails for safety.
Some young people need more structure because of trauma, impulsivity, memory challenges, or delayed skills. Guardrails are supports, not punishments.
Helpful guardrails may include weekly spending money, separate spending and savings accounts, a 24-hour wait before optional purchases, account alerts, and reviewing large purchases together.
As their judgment grows and improves, the support can change.
8. Protect against scams and peer pressure.
A useful family rule is, “People who care about you will give you time to check a money decision.” To further protect the, teach clear safety rules:
- Never share a PIN or password.
- Never let someone else use your bank account.
- Never deposit a check for another person.
- Do not send money to someone known only online.
- Do not sign a contract you do not understand.
- Ask a trusted adult before lending money or making a large purchase.
9. Plan before a large payment or purchase.
A young person may someday receive a settlement, an inheritance, a tax refund, or another large payment. Receiving money does not mean they are ready to manage it.
Practice with smaller amounts first. Make a written plan for education, housing, transportation, work supplies, or emergency savings. Create a waiting period before major purchases. Model the skill of seeking help by asking for guidance from financial advisors, your banker, or other qualified advisers.
Remember, Supported Independence Still Counts
Sometimes, our young adults may still need help with bills, shopping, reminders, or pressure from others, even into legal adulthood. Your support should match their needs, not disappear on their eighteenth birthday.
As they gain independence, ask:
- “Which parts can you do alone?”
- “Which parts can you do with a checklist?”
- “Which parts should we do together?”
The goal is not perfect money skills. It is helping them learn to pause, ask questions, accept support, repair mistakes, and make the next choice more carefully.
Money is a tool, not a measure of worth. With practice and steady support, our young people can care for what they receive, contribute to family and community, and plan for what comes next.