Money may not be your favorite topic. But when you welcome a relative child into your home, sometimes with little notice, finances quickly become a daily focus. From school supplies to gas for appointments to food for hungry tweens and teens, the costs add up.
If you feel stretched at times, you are not alone. Many grandparents, aunties, and cousins raising a relative child are doing their best with limited resources. Needing support does not mean you are falling short. It means you are showing up for this child in a meaningful way.
These small, steady steps can help create more breathing room for you and the child in your care.
Focus on What Matters Most
When everything feels urgent, begin with the basics. Safe housing, food, transportation, and childcare come first. Once these needs are steady, you can look toward savings and other supports.
You do not have to solve everything at once. Slow progress is still progress.
Simple actions can help you feel more in control. You might open a savings account, even if you add only a small amount. Begin daily habits like writing down your expenses and debt, so you can clearly see where your money goes. Clear information makes decisions easier.
Look for Support You May Not Know About
Many caregivers are surprised by the number of resources available. Some are not widely shared, so it is okay to ask questions.
Talk with your caseworker or local groups about one-time help. Some programs assist with furniture, bedding, clothing, or back-to-school needs. Others may cover certain unexpected costs.
TANF
You might qualify for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF). Speak with a caseworker, a community services center, or even the school counselor to learn how to apply.
Community Programs
Local nonprofits, churches, and community programs often offer tutoring, respite care, meal support, and help with activities for kids. One conversation can lead to helpful connections.
Kinship Navigators
Kinship navigator programs can guide you toward financial help, legal services, school support, childcare, and emotional resources. The NC state kinship page is a good starting point. These programs exist to support families like yours.
Reaching out can feel hard. Still, support is part of strong communities, and you deserve it.
Don’t Miss Valuable Tax Credits
Tax credits can put money back into your household. Many caregivers miss them because the rules seem confusing.
Here are a few to explore:
- Child Tax Credit: Up to $2,200 for qualifying children who have lived with you for more than six months.
- Credit for Other Dependents: Up to $500 for children who do not qualify for the Child Tax Credit.
- Child and Dependent Care Credit: Helps pay for childcare or after-school programs while you work or look for work.
- Earned Income Tax Credit: For low- to moderate-income workers and often available along with other credits.
- Head of Household filing status: If you pay more than half of household costs, this may lower the taxes you owe.
If taxes feel stressful or complicated, look for a trusted tax preparer or a free community tax site that can help you understand your options.
Build a Simple, Steady Budget
A budget is not about saying “no” to everything. It is about creating stability for your family.
Try the “3 Bucket Budget”:
Bucket 1: Fixed bills
Rent, insurance, car payments.
Bucket 2: Everyday spending
Groceries, gas, household needs.
Bucket 3: Known non-monthly costs
School clothes, medical visits, and car repairs.
When money comes in, cover Buckets 1 and 3 first. Then use what remains for daily needs. This plan can reduce surprises and lower stress.
Handling Emergency Expenses
It also helps to build an emergency fund—sometimes called a “care pool.” Emergencies are part of life, not a personal failure.
Try this to help you prepare for those inevitable emergencies:
- List everyday unexpected expenses (car accidents, pipes burst, pet illness, etc.).
- Estimate the yearly cost from previous experiences.
- Divide by 12.
- Set up a small automatic transfer into savings.
Even small deposits grow over time.
Stretch Your Dollars While Protecting Dignity
Many children want the same clothes or shoes as their friends. You can respect those wishes while caring for your budget.
Online marketplaces, “Buy Nothing” groups, clothing swaps, thrift stores, and community closets can help you meet needs at a lower cost. When kids help choose their items, it supports confidence and a sense of belonging.
You might think of this as taking good care of what you have so your household stays strong.
Notice the Weight of Financial Stress
Worrying about money is common. Carrying that worry alone can feel heavy.
Observe, Pause, Offer Compassion
If you notice habits like avoiding bills, overspending for comfort (“retail therapy”), or often saying “we can’t afford that,” try to pause. Take a beat to offer yourself compassion. These are signs of stress, not weakness.
Choices and Options Increase Safety
When talking with kids, focus on choices instead of limits. You might say, “We’re saving for something important,” or “That’s not in our plan right now.” This helps children feel safe and cared for.
Note the Positive
Take time to notice what is going well. Even small moments of gratitude can steady us during uncertain times.
Teach Kids Healthy Money Habits
Simple money lessons help children feel secure and capable. Here are a few examples that create opportunities to learn positive financial habits:
- Try using three jars or envelopes for saving, spending, and giving. This teaches balance and responsibility.
- Offering a small allowance or letting kids manage a basic budget can build confidence.
- Remember to make room for joy. A shared meal, time outside, or a relaxed evening together can bring comfort after a hard week.
Every lesson you share about money is also a lesson about care, stability, and hope.
A Gentle Reminder
If financial planning feels overwhelming, pause and take a breath. This work is part of caring for your family. In this community, caring for children has always been shared work, grounded in connection, responsibility, and love. By stepping forward, you are continuing that tradition of care. By inviting others into that care, you are strengthening everyone’s sense of belonging and connection.
Every resource you find, every thoughtful choice you make, and every dollar you set aside help create safety and opportunity for a child who needs you. Your care is shaping a stronger future—for your family, your community, and the generations that follow.