Sometimes, the children in your care may feel sad or worried because of leaving their familiar setting, their parents’ struggles, or relationships at home, school, or with friends. Those feelings can be quite developmentally normal. But when sadness or worry lasts a long time or begins to get in the way of their daily life — school, friends, sleep, or play — it may be more than a phase.
Understanding the signs of depression and anxiety can help you support your relative child with care, strength, and confidence.
What Are Anxiety and Depression?
Anxiety is more than occasional worry. It’s when a child feels fear or concern that doesn’t go away easily and keeps them from doing things they usually do. Anxiety can show up as fear about school, being away from caregivers, or trying new activities.
Depression is more than just feeling sad. It’s when children feel sad, hopeless, or uninterested in activities for many days, and it affects how they think, act, or learn. A child with depression may lose interest in things they used to enjoy, have low energy, or withdraw from family and friends.
Anxiety and depression often happen together, and both can impact how a child feels at home, school, and in relationships.
Common Signs of Anxiety in School-Aged Children
Most kids get nervous, especially before tests or activities. But persistent worry that gets in the way of daily life may be a sign of anxiety.
Look for these behaviors continuing for weeks or more:
- Frequent worry or fear that seems hard to control, even about small everyday things.
- Trouble separating from caregivers, like being extremely upset when dropped off at school, even when safe.
- Physical complaints such as headaches, stomachaches, or trouble sleeping with no apparent medical reason.
- Avoiding social situations or activities they used to enjoy.
- Irritability or anger more often than usual.
- Difficulty concentrating in school or at home.
It’s good to remember that anxiety can be quiet and internal. This child may seem “fine,” but in truth, they are worrying inside. Learning this child well and paying attention to their patterns over time matters more than one bad day.
Common Signs of Depression in School-Aged Children
Every child will feel sad sometimes. It’s also typical for their age and stage to struggle with feelings of sadness. However, please watch for these behaviors or signs that last for several weeks or start to interfere with daily routines:
- Persistent sadness or low mood most of the day.
- Loss of interest in activities or hobbies they once loved.
- Tiredness or lack of energy that doesn’t go away with rest.
- Changes in sleep or eating patterns — sleeping a lot or very little, eating more or less than usual.
- Feeling worthless, guilty, or hopeless more often than not.
- Withdrawing from family or friends and avoiding activities they used to enjoy.
- Trouble at school — a drop in grades or less interest in learning.
Children with depression might act differently. For example, one may be irritable rather than quiet, or act out rather than withdraw. Knowing your relative child’s usual behavior patterns will help you spot changes.
What to Do if You Notice These Signs
Noticing these behaviors – or changes in behaviors – doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with this child. It means you are paying attention to what they need.
Here are some helpful steps you can take to meet their needs.
1. Talk With the Child
Ask gentle questions like: “I notice you don’t seem to enjoy drawing like before. How are you feeling?” And let them know you’re listening without judging their feelings.
2. Keep a Simple Log
It can be helpful to write down when you notice certain behaviors and how long they last. This makes it easier to talk with a school counselor or healthcare provider.
3. Connect With Trusted Adults
Teachers, school counselors, or coaches who spend time with the child may see things you don’t — and can partner with you. Support at school matters as much as support at home.
4. Talk With a Health Care Provider
Pediatricians and mental health professionals do this kind of assessment all the time. They can help figure out whether what you’re noticing is part of normal growth, stress, or something that needs extra care.
Early support makes a big difference in how children learn to cope with strong emotions over time. And if you ever feel concerned about their safety — for example, if they talk of hurting themselves — seek immediate help from a healthcare provider or crisis support.
You Are Not Alone
Every child struggles sometimes — and every caregiver needs support. Taking the first step of noticing changes is an act of love. Whether it’s a short talk, a call to a school counselor, or connecting with health services, your presence makes a child feel seen and valued.
Caregivers play a decisive role in helping children feel safe and understood. You already bring stability and strength into their lives — and when you add awareness of emotional wellbeing, you give them tools to grow into healthy young adults. Be sure to take care of yourself when you are working to support a child who struggles. Find what fuels and refreshes you, and commit to a regular self-care habit. The bonus is that you are modeling healthy habits for the children in your home when you do.
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