When a relative child comes into care unexpectedly, whether you’re an auntie, uncle, cousin, grandparent, or other relative, it can turn life upside down. In Cherokee families, stepping in for children is not new. We have always believed children belong to the whole community. Still, knowing why you stepped up doesn’t always make the road easier.
Even if you aren’t the family member welcoming this child, you can still be a meaningful part of their support network. Your encouragement, understanding, and practical help can make a real difference.
Practical Support and Tips for Raising a Relative Child
Below are simple, practical ways to support relative caregiving in the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians community, especially if you are new to this type of family dynamic.
1. Learn What They’re Carrying
Many children in kinship care have lived through significant changes, losses, instability, or trauma. Those experiences affect their behavior, school, and emotions. Caregivers are often learning all of this while doing the job.
What you can learn about:
- Basic info about trauma, attachment, and kinship care.
- The differences in how to support and correct a child who has been through loss.
- Why some behaviors may seem confusing or frustrating for the caregiver or the child.
If this child came through foster care or court involvement, there may also be these things to get educated on:
- Caseworkers
- Required meetings
- Court dates
- Paperwork and rules
Remember, even moving to live with a known family member can be very stressful. A little understanding goes a long way.
2. Be “Their Person.”
In Cherokee culture, we come together so no one walks alone. Caregivers and the kids they support need someone steady — a person they can talk to without being judged. Even one dependable helper can ease a heavy load.
You can be that person for this family by:
- Listening more than fixing.
- Letting them vent without advice unless asked.
- Checking in regularly, even with a simple text or visit.
Practical support for both the kids and the caregivers matters too:
- Drop off a meal
- Offer rides to school, appointments, or activities
- Watch the kids so the caregiver can rest or attend ceremonies
3. Help Protect Their Health and Spirit
Many caregivers put themselves last. Over time, physical, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion can catch up to this family.
In our traditions, balance is essential. A worn-down caregiver cannot pour into a child forever. Rest is not selfish—it is necessary. You can support their well-being by:
- Encouraging breaks without guilt.
- Supporting them with child care, access to their faith practices, and space or time for prayer, exercise, or time outdoors.
- Reminding them they matter, too.
4. Support Healthy Communication (Even When It’s Hard)
Kinship care often involves complicated family relationships. Sometimes the child’s parents are siblings, cousins, or the caregiver’s adult children. You can meaningfully support the whole family by not taking sides publicly and avoiding or shutting down gossip or blame. It’s also helpful to encourage calm, respectful communication when you are supporting this family.
When tensions run high, consider what local resources might offer support. Suggest a reliable counselor, trusted elder, or spiritual leader to help the caregivers and the children set safe boundaries to protect the child.
School can also be a source of challenging communication. You can offer to be this family’s backup by:
- Offering to attend school meetings with them.
- Helping keep track of paperwork or school notices.
- Encouraging collaboration, not confrontation.
Children do best when the adults around them work together.
5. Make Space for Joy and Connection
Children in kinship care often grow up quickly because of the life experiences they’ve had before entering a safe space. They need reminders that childhood can still be secure and joyful.
- Engage in family activities—games, walks, crafts, fishing, etc.
- Share community and family stories, language learning, and traditions.
- Laugh together and keep things light and hopeful when possible.
Simple moments matter for helping a child find safety and joy, such as:
- Cooking together
- Sitting around the fire
- Attending community events or gatherings
Joy and laughter build trust. Trust builds healing.
Relative Caregivers Need a Village
Stepping in to help raise a relative’s child is an act of love and responsibility, deeply rooted in Cherokee values. But caregivers cannot do it alone. Whether you are a friend or family member, your role matters more than you may realize.
Your time, patience, and presence help keep families strong and children grounded in who they are and where they come from. Because when you support and care for a family – yours or another’s – you help create a beautiful future for them all.