Raising a grandchild, niece, nephew, or another relative’s child is one of the most loving things you can do for that child. However, planning for their future is also a significant act of self-care. By making a plan for the well-being of this child whom you love so deeply, you can put to rest some of the worries and stresses that come with raising a relative’s child. Our community values the traditions of caring for family, and showing love in this practical way is honorable and in keeping with our values.
Planning for the What-Ifs
One question that often lingers in the back of any caregiver’s mind is “What will happen to my grandchild (or cousin or nephew) if something happens to me?”
It’s not easy to think about “what if” situations. But making a plan is a gift to yourself and the child you’re raising. It can bring peace of mind, lower anxiety, and assure you that this child will be safe and cared for, no matter what happens.
This kind of planning is a form of self-care that frees you to enjoy your time together, knowing the future is more secure.
1. Take Care of Your Health First
Your physical health is the foundation for everything you do as this child’s primary caregiver. Staying healthy helps you meet their needs and ensures you can be there for them for years to come.
Here are a few starting points:
- Schedule yearly check-ups for yourself and your grandchild, including vision and hearing screenings.
- Maintain your dental care—two cleanings a year can help prevent more significant health issues later.
- Pay attention to mental health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, sad, or anxious, reach out for help from a counselor, a trusted elder, or a support group.
- Model healthy habits, such as balanced meals, nourishing sleep, and regular physical activity.
The bonus is that when you take care of yourself, you’re also teaching your grandchild that their own health is worth protecting.
2. Build a Strong Financial Foundation
You’ve likely already experienced this, but raising a child comes with additional costs. Planning ahead for both your needs and your grandchild’s financial needs can make the road ahead smoother.
Even small steps help:
- Create a simple household budget to track your income and expenses each month.
- Set aside a small amount of money for emergencies.
- Explore benefits programs in your community to supplement your food, healthcare, or utility expenses. The National Council on Aging offers this Benefits Check-Up
Think about your grandchild’s future needs:
- Will they want to go to college or trade school?
- If they have a disability, would an ABLE account or Supplemental Security Income help them in adulthood?
- Have you named them as a beneficiary for any savings, insurance, or property?
Raising Relatives also features a resource page that includes financial resources available in our community.
These conversations might feel far away, but the earlier you start, the more choices you’ll have when the time comes.
3. Protect Your Wishes with Legal Documents
One of the most important ways to prepare for your grandchild’s future is by putting your wishes in writing. Having the proper legal documents ensures there’s no confusion about who will care for this child if you are unable to do so.
Some of the documents you should consider include:
- Legal guardianship or custody paperwork to make medical, school, and other vital decisions without delay.
- A will clearly stating who should take over care of your relative child.
- Written instructions about how you want this child’s daily life and routines to continue.
Discuss openly with the adults who may be involved in your plan. The more they understand your wishes now, the smoother things will go if they ever need to step in.
Tribal community members can check the Raising Relatives Resources for information on where to obtain these documents. The Creating a Family Legal Options for Kinship Caregivers site is also a good resource.
4. Organize Important Information
Even the best plans only work if the right people can find them. Create a safe, organized place to keep your essential information:
- Medical records and contact information for doctors
- School records and teacher contacts
- Legal documents, such as guardianship papers or your will
- Insurance information
- A list of the child’s routines, favorite foods, allergies, and special needs
Keep this in a fireproof lockbox or secure location. Make sure a trusted adult knows how to access it. Having this ready can prevent confusion and stress during an emergency.
5. Build – and Communicate with – Your Support Network
Hopefully, your community is comprised of people who step in to help one another. We all need a supportive “village” to count on. However, it’s essential to identify your “go-to” people in your network and discuss your plans with them.
The plans should include:
- Who can I call for emotional support?
- Who could watch my grandchild for a day or a week if I needed a break or had an emergency?
- Who is allowed to pick them up from school if I can’t?
It’s not enough to know these answers yourself—share them with your support network so everyone is prepared. You may even want to hold a brief family meeting to review your plans.
If your network is small, consider ways to expand it. Attend community events, join a caregiver support group, or connect with other grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. Every person you add to your circle makes your plan stronger.
Planning Ahead Brings Peace of Mind
Making plans for “what if” situations isn’t about expecting the worst. It’s about giving your family the gift of safety and stability, and giving yourself the gift of peace of mind.
Taking the steps discussed above helps you create a safety net for your grandchild. That safety net can hold them steady through life’s ups and downs, even if you can’t always be there in person.
In our tribal communities, we have always taken care of one another across the generations. Planning for the what-ifs is another way of living out and honoring that tradition.