Helping Your Grandchild with ADHD Succeed at Home

Raising a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can be challenging, but with the right strategies and support, you can help your grandchild (or niece, nephew, or other relative) manage responsibilities at home effectively. These practical tips can help you support this child to manage personal hygiene, household chores, and other daily tasks.

Helping a Child with ADHD Feel Successful at Home

ADHD affects a child’s ability to focus, control impulses, and manage timelines and their energy levels. Children with ADHD may struggle with organization, following instructions, and completing tasks. ADHD can make basic life skills more challenging to master but you can support them to succeed with a few simple changes around the house.

1. Establishing Routines

One of the most effective ways to help a child with ADHD is to establish clear and consistent routines. If you don’t already have a clear, simple daily routine set up, start today! It doesn’t have to be complicated or detailed. A routine provides structure and predictability, which can help reduce your grandchild’s anxiety and improve their focus.

Here are some tips for creating effective routines:

  1. Create a Daily Schedule: Write down a daily schedule that includes all the tasks your child needs to complete, such as getting dressed, brushing teeth, and doing homework. For children who don’t read well yet, simple pictures or photos can help them make connections and engage their interest.
  2. Set Clear Expectations: Clearly explain what you expect each child to do to accomplish each task. Break down tasks into smaller, manageable steps and provide specific instructions.
  3. Use Timers and Reminders: Use timers and reminders to help this child stay on track. For example, setting a timer for brushing teeth or dressing can help them understand the expected timeline for each task and help them stay focused on that one thing.

2. Personal Hygiene

Personal hygiene can be a challenging area for children with ADHD. Try these strategies to help your child develop good hygiene habits.

  1. Make Hygiene Fun: Turn hygiene routines into fun activities. Use colorful toothbrushes, scented soaps, and playful songs to make the experience enjoyable.
  2. Use Visual Aids: Create visual aids, such as charts or posters, to remind your grandchild of the steps in their personal hygiene tasks. For example, a chart showing the steps for brushing teeth or washing hands can be helpful.
  3. Provide Positive Reinforcement: Praise and reward this child each time they complete hygiene tasks. Positive reinforcement can motivate your child to develop good habits.

Household Chores

Consider that each child in your home should have specific household chores appropriate to their age and ability. You can help a child with ADHD develop a sense of responsibility and organizational skills by making their chores manageable.

  1. Assign Age- and Stage-Appropriate Chores: Choose chores that are appropriate for your child’s age and abilities. Remember that kids impacted by prenatal substance exposure to drugs and alcohol, or to trauma, loss, and chaos before they came to your home may operate at an ability level younger than their age. So, start with simple tasks, such as setting the table or feeding pets, and gradually increase the complexity as they become more capable.
  2. Break Tasks into Steps: Break down chores into smaller, manageable steps. For example, instead of asking your child to clean their room, break the task into steps like picking up toys, then picking up books, then making the bed, and putting away clothes.
  3. Use Checklists: Create checklists for each chore to help kids stay organized and focused. Checklists can provide a sense of accomplishment as they check off each completed task.

Examples of Age-Appropriate Chores

Toddlers (Ages 2-3)

  • Putting toys away
  • Filling up a pet’s food bowl
  • Placing clothing in the hamper
  • Wiping up spills
  • Dusting or wiping baseboards with a sock on their hand
  • Piling up books and magazines on shelves or tables
  • Mopping small areas with a dry mop

Preschoolers (Ages 4-5)

  • Helping to clear and set the table
  • Making the bed independently
  • Dusting
  • Helping to cook and prepare food
  • Carrying and putting away groceries
  • Sorting laundry into whites and colors

Ages 6-8

  • Making their bed every day
  • Packing their school bag
  • Watering plants
  • Sweeping floors
  • Folding and putting away laundry
  • Taking out the trash

Ages 9-12

  • Washing dishes or loading the dishwasher
  • Vacuuming
  • Walking the dog
  • Cleaning the bathroom
  • Preparing simple meals

Ages 13-18

  • Babysitting younger siblings
  • Cooking complete meals
  • Doing grocery shopping
  • Cleaning out the refrigerator
  • Washing windows
  • Managing their own schedule and homework

Managing Time and Organization

Time management and organization are other familiar challenges for children with ADHD. Here are some strategies to help your child develop these skills:

  1. Use Visual Schedules: Again, visual schedules help kids understand the sequence of tasks and manage their time effectively. Use pictures or icons to represent each task and display the schedule in a prominent place.
  2. Set Priorities: Teach your grandchildren how to prioritize tasks by identifying the most important and urgent tasks first. Create a simple system, such as numbering tasks or using colored stickers, to reflect the priorities.
  3. Create a Homework Station: Set up a designated homework station that is free from distractions. Provide all the necessary supplies, such as pencils, paper, and a timer, to help this child stay focused and organized.

Encouraging Independence

Encouraging healthy levels of independence is important when raising a child with ADHD.

  1. Provide Choices: Give this child simple choices to start. For example, let them choose between two outfits or decide the order in which they complete their chores. Providing choices can help your child feel more in control and motivated. As their confidence and abilities grow, try to increase the complexity of the choices to reflect their growth.
  2. Teach Problem-Solving Skills: Help your grandchild develop problem-solving skills by encouraging them to think through challenges and suggest solutions. Ask open-ended questions and guide them through the decision-making process.
  3. Celebrate Successes: Celebrate your child’s successes, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can boost your child’s confidence and encourage them to take on new challenges.

Feeling Successful at Home Leads to Confidence and Security!

Supporting this child with ADHD requires your patience, understanding, and proactive strategies. By establishing routines, making tasks manageable, and encouraging independence, you can help your grandchild (or nephew or cousin) develop essential life skills and thrive. The confidence they experience will help them feel secure to try new things and develop other skills beyond your home.