Raising a child with prenatal exposure can be like a never-ending cycle of repetition. Holding tight routines and rigid structures can be tiring. The monotony can stress you, even when you know this is what is best for this child. As with any challenge in life, it’s essential to find joy and celebrate the precious child in front of you.
5 Keys to Finding Joy
1. Create a team.
You cannot raise this child alone, nor should you. As you learn more about your grandchild’s needs, you will meet people you want on your team. A good team blends structure and nurture. Find the people who will work together to keep the child’s best interests as the priority. Look for a mix of professionals who understand the child’s challenges and friends and family to support you and the child.
2. Establish routines.
As repetitive as routines can be, they provide comfort and predictability for you and your grandchild (or niece or cousin). When they know what to expect, meltdowns and struggles will decrease. And when disruptive behaviors occur, you all know how to handle them so you can get back on track quickly. A predictable daily pace can leave you free to be present for moments of peace and joy together.
3. Focus on strengths.
Every child has something that makes them unique and precious – just like every adult. When you find a strength in your grandchild, draw it out in them. Find opportunities to nurture it. Whether it’s a character trait like kindness or a skill like painting landscapes, this child needs to shine. You are the perfect spotlight to help that happen.
4. Have fun together.
The busyness of a repetitive daily routine can be draining. Be sure to find time to laugh together. You might need to look for it by collecting funny memes on social media. Read silly books together. Ask your grandchild to teach you a game they learned with friends. Whatever it is, find time each day to have fun. You are building a future adult who needs to know that laughter can bring healing. Having fun together can forge strong connections with this child to help you through the hard times.
5. Prioritize self-care.
Helping raise a child who has seen challenging times makes it easy to get lost in the child’s needs. However, it’s just as vital that you take care of yourself. Find a mix of self-care that includes healthy habits and activities that bring you joy. Prioritize regular self-care that refuels and refreshes you. There is specific information on how to make self-care a regular routine in the article, “Making Self-Care a Routine” also on this site.
Don’t forget: this child depends on you to be present to help them grow. They need you to teach them healthy life habits that will sustain them through life’s challenges.
Joy is Contagious
Seeking out joy is one of the best ways to combat the challenges of regular life. When you are looking for peace, joy, and celebration, you can often find it in the eyes of this precious child who has joined your home. See the beauty that is in him. It’s an excellent starting point if you feel “stuck” in the monotony of routine and structure.
In those times that you need to remember why you are doing this hard work with this child, remind yourself to look for the joy. When you connect with the joy you feel about this child, you create more happiness to support you all in the hard times ahead.